I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
