WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize