I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
