He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
