I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
