I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize