btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
