Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
