ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
