sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
