I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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