ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
