She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
