we have officially mastered the walk of shame
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
