Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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