Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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