dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
