the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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