we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
