I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize