You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
