I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
