Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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