can u get pink eye on your cock?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
