He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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