i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
