i barfeds in our rink
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
