i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She even gives head with a lisp.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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