Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
