My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
