fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
