Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
