dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
