it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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