did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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