maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
