I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
