"it" just moved
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
