So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
True strength comes from lack of pants
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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