I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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