The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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