She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize