This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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