alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize