you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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