everyone is single if you try hard enough
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
