So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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