Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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