we have officially lost it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
