i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
