STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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