I want you more than these girls want KFC
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
