It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
