I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
