Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
