Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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