Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
