dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
