dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
