I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
