I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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