i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
