What a fucking waste of an outfit
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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