my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
