I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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