they need to just BURY HIM!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
