Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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