Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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