would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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