he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
