Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
