You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
