Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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