dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
