tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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