I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
