God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My penis needs a shock collar
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
